Hey everyone, I know I’ve missed the past couple Outsidevibes Weekly Updates and I’m sorry. Things haven’t been going the best for me since my last update around Christmas time. I have been putting off sharing and dealing with some major life changes.
I’m still not quite sure how to write these feelings or what I should share in this post. I just feel like I need to cover some things that I am currently struggling with. I wanted to write this weekly update yesterday, so I could have it posted on time, but yesterday I was not in the right headspace to say what I needed to say. I still don’t really feel like I am in the right headspace today but I know writing helps me get my thoughts in order and overcome them.
Initially when I started the Outsidevibes Weekly Update it was a weekly posting where I quickly recapped my adventures and travels, along with sharing new things for Outsidevibes. It was something lighthearted without too much thought, just a fun place to share my weekly experiences with everyone. These past couple of months have been emotionally tougher for me, trying to grow Outsidevibes while basing myself in not a very internet-reliable-town.
Since then the Outsidevibes Weekly Update has turned into more of me describing my feelings instead of sharing my days and activities. Not to say that sharing my feelings is a bad thing, it just seems like more and more negative emotion has been seeping into each weekly update. After this post I might put off writing the Outsidevibes Weekly Update for a while, at least until I get myself and my future more figured out.
Some substantial changes have happen to me since my last weekly update post. Changes that I have not been dealing well with. I spent the week of Christmas Day to New Year’s Eve alone in Puerto Escondido, Emma went to Mexico City to visit a friend. During that time her and I had a few discussions which resulted in me returning home while she remains in Mexico. I flew home on New Year’s Day and have been home ever since.
Our abrupt ending coupled with my quick return home has really shaken my life up. I have basically spent the past couple of weeks doing nothing, just waiting for the next day to arrive. Life changes are difficult especially when it involves someone you care so much about. Someone you have spent so much time with, including years of travel, memories and adventures together.
Upon returning home I have tried to do some much needed business work for Outsidevibes but this past week I have been struggling with the amount of time, work and finances that have been going into Outsidevibes vs. it’s growth. I know Outsidevibes is new and I know things take time to build. It’s just that I have been working on Outsidevibes for years now, caring so much, some days seem more daunting than others.
I have mentioned this in a past weekly update but the online word is hard to get a foothold into. It is so dependent on other people’s interactions. Any online social site constantly needs attention, feedback, likes and sharing to even be seen by followers, let alone found by new people. Over the past few years I have constantly spent my time surrounded by influencers and brands learning the intricate and complicated details of how social media functions. Every now and again knowing how social media truly works is a hard pill for me to swallow.
Yesterday I spend all day working on custom Outsidevibes merchandise only to end the day deflated and overwhelmed with starting a brand on my own. I guess the hardest part of creating your own business is realizing you could one day fail. I don’t want to fail or even envision failing but I also don’t want to wish that I would have spent more time and effort focused on what I love or who I love, like traveling or my significant other, before possibly going back to a normal job and life.
Don’t mind the rambling and conceded negativity in this weeks update, it’s just my current lost state of mind. Deep down I truly know Outsidevibes is my dream and passion. I am just a little lost at the moment, not knowing what my future now holds. I will still be putting my time and effort into building and growing Outsidevibes I just can’t let it completely consume my life anymore because I do need to look towards my future. I am not the same young man that left home in his early 20’s with few worries other than to see the world for a couple of years.